A Study of Delusional Courtship
by xdragonslayerx
Summary: Dib and Zim survived into young adulthood somehow. Despite breaking each other all the time, they've landed themselves into a strange thing that resembles the beginning of a something. Dib hates it, Zim's crazy, and GIR does stuff. Enjoy or despair, fleshbags!
1. A Horrible Prologue!

Disclaimer of DOOM: I don't own Invader Zim characters/ story because Jhonen Vasquez does in all his insane glory. I would probably destroy his brain meats with this abomination. I get no money from this as is right.

1/28/2013: Alright guys, thanks to the illustrious Ava, I have gone through and maliciously destroyed typos and grammatical problems. I hope the revised version brings you joy!

* * *

**A Horrible Prologue!**

Dib, still only a twelve year old fighting off an alien invader, was running around the skool playground. He was trying to catch Zim, who was screaming, "Foul Earthbeast! I have no plan! No plans at all!"

Of course, Dib didn't believe him. "I know you're plotting something, Zim! Get back here!"

Dib didn't see the root sticking out of the ground. He managed to catch his foot between the small space of the root disconnected from the dirt. He fell over, smacking his forehead right onto a rock.

Dib slowly got up. He had a pretty deep gash along the left side of his head. His hand trembled as he went up to slowly touch the cut, touching blood, and bringing it to his eyes to see. Some of the kids standing around pointed and started laughing. Dib winced at the laughter. In pain, embarrassed, frustrated, ashamed, Dib couldn't help it. He started crying.

He clenched his eyes, not wanting to let the tears out. He sniffled as he stood up to walk away.

"What did you do to yourself now, worm?" Zim stalked up to him, smirking. "Aw, poor little smeet." He mocked, "Maybe if you tried to hit me with your head you'd succeed at defeating ZIM!"

Dib turned his head away. "Jerk." He felt tears spilling out of his eyes. He thought, I can't let him see me cry! Dib turned around and ran away, trying to ignore the kids still laughing at him.

Dib ran back inside the skool and went to the bathroom. Still sniffling and crying a little, he washed out the gash with some questionable water from the sink. When he looked in the mirror, he realized the cut also had a nice swelling knot to go along with it.

Dib pouted. "I'll get you Zim."

He went back out to the playground, and just curled up under a tree. He sat there, feeling pretty dejected, until Zim walked up again. "Go away." Dib said, refusing to even look at his nemesis.

Zim glared. "You dare to order ZIM?!" He looked in amazement at Dib's head. "Wow, it got… bigger."

"Shut up." Dib spat out. "Just leave me alone."

Zim didn't leave. Instead, he took something out from his PAK. "Hold still." A hand gripped the boy's hair, and another had some sort of purply-pinkish, pen looking thing pointed at Dib's head.

Dib cried out, "Hey, let go!" The pen emitted a green light. Aw crap, Dib thought, He's going to kill me! "No! Stop!"

Zim ignored the flailing. He pressed a button, and a green laser sealed a bit of the cut. He meticulously went down, sealing the wound. Dib was panicking more now, trying to kick and smack Zim away.

Zim growled. "Quit being so insolent!" He pressed a different button. The knot decreased dramatically in size before Zim's eyes.

Dib gasped. "Hey! What did you do to me?" He couldn't feel the pain anymore. Actually, his head felt kind of…good. "Zim?"

Zim sneered. "I healed your pathetic scrape, meatbag." Zim had a PAK limb put the pen-thing away. "Obviously you couldn't handle it." He let go of Dib's hair and stood back. "And that is unacceptable! You," He pointed at Dib, "are my enemy! My enemy is battle hardened, and able to take anything Zim throws at him!" He growled. "Do not disappoint me again."

Dib just stared in shock as Zim twirled around and did that weird marching thing away from him. He touched his head, still a little confused. Then, he smiled. "You got it Zim."

* * *

A year passed by, full of fighting, name calling, and planet saving. Dib and Zim teamed up once or twice during that year because of some weird stuff, like that one entity that liked to hug planets, and Keef trying to get them to be friends. The planet-hugger was destroyed, and Keef was still in the hospital. All went back to normal with the fighting again.

And then one day, Dib woke up sick. He had felt the icky as he woke up. Dib had rolled out of bed, went over to a wall panel, and pressed a button. A portion of the wall slid away, revealing a bunch of differently worded buttons. Dib searched and then pressed the SICK button.

His father's vid screen came over to look at him. It had recorded his temperature with a scanner. Dib had been a little surprised to see 101.0 °F blinking back at him.

"Back to bed, son! I will inform your skool you are ill!"

Dib winced. He had a headache to go with the fever. Fantastic.

Halfway through the day, he hadn't been all that surprised when Zim busted through his front door demanding to know what he was plotting.

Dib had come out with his dripping nose and coughing fit. "Zim! Get out!" He'd about coughed up a lung from the yelling.

Zim looked at him, laser gun still hot. "You can't fool me, uh…"He looked grossed out by the snotty nose. "…Earth…stink."

"Oh for the-! I'm really just sick! Go away!"

Zim watched as Dib stomped over to his bed, laid in it, and promptly pretended to be asleep. Zim glared at him, eyes barely above the rim of the bed.

He rose up, "Unacceptable!" He screeched. Dib groaned and put a pillow over his head.

Zim left the room, slamming the door behind him, and headed into the kitchen. He tore through cabinets, getting seemingly random ingredients. He turned on the stove, threw a pot on the heating space, and made a very strange concoction. After about an hour, he finally took it off the heat.

He ran into Dib's room with it. Dib had managed to finally drift off when his door burst open.

Why Zim closed it in the first place, who knows?

Zim shot his spider-like limbs from out of his PAK. He held Dib down, "Drink it!" Dib about coughed it all out, but Zim forced him to keep it down. Dib ingested the substance almost instantaneously, and passed out.

"There!" Zim grinned in victory, "No more sick, no more missing skool, so I can keep an eye on you, Dib worm." Zim yawned, feeling tired. "Eh, he's out for awhile." Zim put his limbs away, settled in beside Dib, and took a nap.

When Dib woke up, Zim had his arms wrapped around Dib like a child with a teddy bear. Dib felt infinitely better than he had in ages. "Zim?"

"Ehn?" The green alien's eyes popped open, "Dib! What are you doing in my-?" Suddenly, Zim remembered everything. "Oh right, your stupid human illness." Zim got out of the bed. "See ya, Dib." He marched out of the room, ignoring the slack jawed expression of the human he left behind.

Dib felt his heart warm a little at the thought that Zim had cared enough to cure him like that. Granted, it was for selfish reasons, but it had been a long time since anybody had bothered to even look in on him when he was sick.

* * *

About two years later, Dib revealed to Zim that boy's grow in spurts on Earth, and Zim freaked out. Their classmates had been getting suspicious, calling Zim weird for being so short at his age, which was about 15 years old or so going on the age he tried to fit in with when he got to Earth. Zim had been clueless about what to do about it.

Dib had been watching the green alien through a new spy bot one night when the green alien finally found a solution.

Zim growled in his base, completely unaware of the new spy bot. "Computer! Give me ways to grow taller!"

The computer sighed, but did as it was told. Zim hummed to himself as he filtered through all the plans. Finally, he stumbled across one that looked plausible. "Hmmm, this just might work. Computer! Start converting the disguising machine into a growing one!"

"Yes, master." The computer brought down the old clunky piece of technology and started to rewire, take apart, and weld things here and there.

Zim started laughing maniacally, "Mwahahahaha!"

GIR ran into the base, flapping his arms. "WAFFLES!"

Zim sighed. "Yes, yes."

Dib gasped. He had to thwart his nemesis! He ran out into the night, racing over to Zim's house. Somehow, he didn't remember how, he got down to the base and tried to stop Zim.

He arrived just in time to see a six foot tall version of Zim walking out of the pod, with pants obviously too short, and a shirt that was obviously a few sizes too small. Dib pointed slack jawed at the new Irkan male.

Zim looked at Dib quizzically. "What? Does it look alright? I'm not entirely sure the new look is…me, you know? Wait…how did you get down here, Earth monkey?!"

"I'm too late!" Dib said dramatically.

Zim quirked a brow. Suddenly, an evil little thought came into the alien's head.

"You do know I'm like a hundred years older than you?" Zim asked, looking at Dib with a quizzical eye.

"You are?" Dib thought about it. "Well, yeah, I guess that does make sense." Zim was always spouting out something about doing stuff before Dib was even born.

"On Earth, I believe your elders are allowed to punish the younger ones. So, do you want to know what I'm going to do now?" Zim asked with a quirked brow.

"Uh..." Dib backed away, suddenly feeling a little intimidated, "No."

"Why," Zim leaned down to look eye to eye with the smaller boy, "punish your insolence, of course."

Dib felt his wrists pulled forward. "Hey!" He struggled to get away, but Zim was stronger than him now.

Zim cackled maniacally as he threw Dib over his knee. "This may sting a bit, Dib."

WACK! "Ow! Di-Did you just spank me?" Dib couldn't believe it. Out of all the humiliating-!

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

"Hey! Ow! Zim that's so unfair! Stop it!" Dib felt every hit through his clothes. Man, Zim could hit hard when he wanted to! "Zim!" It was starting to get painful. "Ow! OW! OW!"

"No! The naughty Earth boy needs to learn his lesson!" Zim cackled, "Now hold still!"

After about ten more slaps, Dib started getting angry. "Zim! Stop it right now! It hurts!"

"It's supposed to!" Zim smirked. "I've put you through worse, Dib, I'm surprised you're cracking so soon." SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

"Ah-ha-ow!" Dib tried to get free, but Zim's grip on his back was ironclad. "Stop! Stop, please! Zim!"

"Aw, your begging sounds so sweet to my ears." Zim continued slapping the boys butt. "But I suppose I can show some mercy."

He put Dib on his feet. Dib glared at him as he rubbed his abused butt. Without thinking, he pointed at Zim and accusingly screamed, "Pervert!"

Zim smirked even wider. "Aw, poor little Dib stink. Can't handle a little spanking."

"Shut up! And who spanks their enemy?" Dib stomped his foot. "It's not right."

Zim just waved him dismissively away. "Go slink back to your puny human abode." Zim leaned back in his chair. "Just remember this day, and what the almighty Zim is capable of doing to your little fleshy body."

Dib growled, "How dare you! I will get you, Zim, I swear it!" He turned and ran away. "And I'm retreating, not running away!"

Dib's butt was sore the next day. Not really painful, just annoying. Zim had smirked cruelly at him all through the morning, gloating about his victory. It was easy to see Dib's discomfort, as sometimes Dib would wince or growl something under his breath about dissections when he sat down.

* * *

That night, Dib had his first wet dream. In the dream, he was over Zim's knee again, getting spanked like the bad boy he was. Instead of shouting like he did in real life, Dib moaned, and instead of being dressed, he was completely naked. Zim was naked too, which really made no sense considering Dib had never seen Zim naked. His little dick was hard, and Dib kept bucking his hips, creating a nice friction of his sensitive skin against the green alien's. Zim was saying something about taking it like a man, but all Dib could feel was his orgasm-.

Dib shot up in bed, gasping. He looked down to see a tent in his boxers. His erection was so hard it hurt. Dib trembled and shook his head, "This is so wrong." He brought a hand down, "So wrong." He only had to pump himself four times, and he came all over his hand.

Dib went ahead and took a shower. He felt sick, like he had some bad Bloaty's Pizza. How the hell could he have a dream like that? And about Zim? It just didn't make any sense.

Too scared to go to sleep, Dib just stayed up until skool. Practically dead the next day, he didn't even notice Zim looking at him constantly throughout the morning. He was thoroughly engrossed in trying to analyze his dream.

What could it mean? Did it mean anything? He knew that Freud would argue subconscious desires, but Dib knew better. He had never "desired" Zim except as a specimen strapped down to a metal table to be poked and prodded with long, hard things.

Dib slammed his head against his desk. The whole classroom ignored him. Well, everyone except for Zim.

At lunch, Dib was surprised by Zim waiting for him at his table. Dib managed somehow to appear nonchalant and not blush.

Dib asked, "What do you want Zim?"

Zim shifted from foot to foot, looking a little nervous. "Zim, that is, I…" He scratched the back of his head. "Perhaps…" He twiddled with his fingers. "Zim may have been too, uh, mean to the Dib thing. Maybe letting the new height go to my head."

Zim suddenly stood up straight. "Anyway, as my horrible Earth enemy, Zim realizes that some tactics are too underhanded, and Zim will not do them again." Zim shifted his eyes from side to side. "That is all, I AM ZIM!" And with that, Zim ran back over to his solitary table.

Dib took a good half a minute to translate what Zim was trying to say. "Oh!" Realization dawned on him. "He was…apologizing? For what?" The spanking incident immediately came to mind. "Oh yeah, that." Dib tried to ignore his groin twitching. "Good, it'll never happen good."

Dib also tried to ignore the disappointment that had bubbled up. "Shut up, subconscious!"


	2. The Terrible Hiskool Day

Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing. Jhonen, I wish you would make more Zim, but alas you won't. Why? Because Nickelodeon is owned by dream destroying machines.

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**The Terrible Hiskool Day**

Hiskool was over for the day. Dib packed up his books into his backpack.

Suddenly, a girl squealed out in the hallway, "Oh my God!"

Dib sighed. "Zim." After six years of the alien inhabiting his planet, Dib had grown used to that sound. Dib had also grown to a good five foot eleven, and his weird scythe looking hair had also grown, looking distinctly like his father in that aspect. His glasses had been replaced with contacts, and for some odd reason, his head was still just as gigantic as his childhood version.

He threw his bag onto his back, and rushed out into the hall. There, Zim was fighting with the biggest and meanest bully, Bugley McChuncky.

Bugley threw punches while Zim dodged them effortlessly. The green teen smirked. "What was that you said, earth worm? You would 'make me,' the almighty ZIM! eat dirt?" Zim right hooked the pimply face. "Ha!"

Dib hesitated for a second. Bugley picked on him since Middlskool. It was kind of tempting just to let the bully get the shit kicked out of him.

Still, Bugley was human, and utterly out of his league. It wasn't really fair.

Nails clicked against plastic behind him. "Aren't you gonna save him?" Gaz asked, not looking up from her game. She'd become the school's most terrifyingly beautiful Goth chick. Every guy in school wanted her, but everyone was afraid to touch her. She liked it that way. Purple long, straight hair flowed down against the same black clothing she always preferred. A neat black dragon tattoo on her neck sealed the scary look.

Dib smiled. "Hey, Gaz." He looked at Bugley, who was swaying precariously to and fro. "Looks like it's over already."

Gaz growled as her game character died. "Damn! Almost had it!" She looked up in time to see Bugley fall backwards, out cold. "Guess you're right." She glared up at her brother. "Giving up, are you?"

"Say what?" Dib asked, completely confused.

"Your mission to stop Zim." Gaz said like it was obvious. "After all, you haven't exactly been fighting much anymore."

Dib gazed over at Zim. The alien received pats on the back by a few students. He glared at them and demanded, "Desist your foolish congratulations, worms!"

Dib smiled, looking a little forlorn. "Yeah, well, Zim's mission hasn't exactly been going according to plan, either. I mean, it's been over a year since he talked about another doom plot to destroy the Earth."

Zim, feeling eyes on him, turned to see Dib staring. The alien quirked a non-existent brow. "What is the Dib thing thinking?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Nothing."

"LIES!" Zim pointed at his chest. "I know you plot my demise, Earth creature!"

Dib pointed back. "Only because you plot the demise of my planet!"

Zim tilted his head up, plastering a sly grin on his green face. "Oh? But I am merely human. Can't you see that, earth being?"

Gaz shook up a soda. Zim heard the noise, and shot off like a rocket down the hall. Dib turned to look at her. "How many of those do you have?"

"Enough." She said as she opened the can and spilled it all over Bugley's face. The bully screamed in pain.

* * *

When Dib went to walk home, Zim ran up beside him. "Dib stink! I need the notes from Histry class! Gimme!"

Dib was affronted. "Why should I help you? You're trying to take over my planet!"

"Gimme!" Zim tackled Dib to the ground, reaching for the teen's backpack. "I need them for the stupid homeworks!"

"Even if you asked politely!" He grunted when Zim's heel "accidentally" hit his solar plexus, "I'd still say no!" Dib kicked the green alien off of him. He shot off down to the street. Zim raced after him, shouting random insults.

Gaz took her time walking down the street, playing on the new GameSlave300.

Dib almost made it home when Zim tackled him on his front lawn. "Get off of me!" Zim simply reached for the backpack again. Dib took it off and hit Zim with it.

Zim was flung backwards. His journey ended with a CLANG! to the telephone pole. "How dare you harm the almighty ZIM!" Zim ignored the knot growing on his forehead.

Dib ran to his house, throwing open the front door and slamming it shut behind him. He raced towards his room, the only real secure place for him.

Two seconds later, Zim blasted down the front door with a laser gun. "You stupid worm baby! Gimme!"

Membrane came out of his office for a second to see his son, "Hello, son!"

"Hey Dad!" Dib shouted as he ran by the scientist.

Membrane gave a little wave to Zim, "Hello, Zim."

"Hi Dib's paternal unit!" Zim yelled as he raced by on his PAK legs.

Dib twirled around just in front of his door. "Aw, come on! He said 'paternal unit!' How can you just ignore that? OOOMPH!"

Zim tackled him again. "Give to ZIM!" He reached into the tattered backpack. "AH-HA!" Zim took out the notebook he knew stored Dib's notes. "See ya, Dib!" And with that he ran out of the house.

Membrane walked over to his son, "You know, you could tell him that you only take notes because of him."

Dib smirked, "What would be the fun in that?" He got up, brushed himself off, and keyed in the code to his door. "Besides, can't let him think I don't pay attention in skool. He might get the impression I'm slacking off because I'm scheming something."

"Aren't you scheming something, my poor insane son?"

"No, actually, I'm going to go get the mail. I forgot to get in all the madness." Dib threw his backpack in his room and then walked towards the front door. "Report Kards come in today you know-."

"Ah!" Membrane looked at his watch, "I'm late! Got to go, son, bye!" And with that, Membrane was out of the house, in a jet that magically appeared on the front lawn, and gone.

Dib shrugged. "Oh well."

He saw Zim just running around the corner shouting, "Victory is mine!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

* * *

Zim stomped into his house. The roboparents, upgraded over the years, welcomed him home.

"Hello, son!" The maternal-bot smiled, looking almost human with her new synthetic-skin stretching into a gruesome smile. "Would you like something to eat?"

Zim nodded his head, "Yes, make the PB&J the hyumans are so fond of." He glanced around the living room, "Where is GIR?"

"Oh, out and about." The paternal-bot said, "By the way, Computer has a message for you."

"Oh?" Zim took a quick glance at the mail he brought in. Junk, junk, letter, junk. "Computer! Give me the message."

Computer sighed. "Alright I guess."

A screen appeared in a haloprojection in front of Zim's face. The image of the Red and Purple Tallest appeared. Red began with, "Hey Zim! We're just wondering how you're doing buddy. Haven't heard from you in a few weeks."

Purple took over. "We know you're a," snicker, "busy invader and all, but don't let us worry too much, kay?" And with that, the message was done.

Zim threw away the junk mail, and then opened his letter. "Erase message, Computer."

"Alright…would you like to send one back?"

"Huh?" Zim read the letter, scanning over the Report Kard he received from Hiskool. "Maybe later. I have nothing to report at the moment." All A's, again. Fantastic! He smiled. "I wonder if the Dib monkey did well?"

Doctor Membrane congratulated Dib on his resounding success in his classes via the usual recorded video message. Gaz got one as well, which she promptly ignored. Dib looked at the Report Kard, and realized that in one year was Koolege.

He looked over at the various applications. He didn't have to worry too much about money. Essentially, he could get into whatever Koolege to which he applied. Dib looked at his computer, where a tiny screen kept constant watch over the front of Zim's house. Technically, he could still keep an eye on Zim and go to Koolege, but…

Dib sighed. It just wouldn't be the same. Granted, he could use a break from Zim, he had to admit that. After six years, he had gotten to know his enemy pretty well. Far too well, in some cases.

Dib peered up into the night sky. What would he do without a Zim there to fight with?

* * *

Please Review!


	3. Assignment of DOOM!

Disclaimer: Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez, a mad genius of a man. I get no money from Zim, and oddly enough neither does Jhonen.

* * *

**Assignment of DOOM!**

Addvanced Byolgie was a joke to Dib. He spent his time doing homework for other classes so he wouldn't have to do it when he got home. Zim sat two rows down, also bored out of his mind. After Zim upgraded his Computer two years ago, the internet gave him every bit of information he needed on human anatomy.

The teacher brought out a big cardboard box full of little, plastic square packets. In other words, condoms. "Alright, now you all know what these are for! Make sure to take as many as you need. Remember, safe sex or no sex!"

Dib rolled his eyes. He had better things to do than get laid, like stop an invading alien force. Zim curled his lip. The green alien never really understood how sex could be so important to the earthlings. Sure, as a reproductive act it was important, but Irkens didn't generally mate unless there was a need for more troops.

"Now," the teacher pointed to the chalkboard, "I'm assigning you a project that has to do with reproduction. This project is to be done in groups of two or three…"

Dib zoned out after that. Generally, he was put with some boy of lower-intelligence that had no clue what to do so Dib had to save both their asses by doing the entire assignment. Whatever, he'd start writing out the thing that night.

"And the next grouping is Dib and Zim."

Dib froze. Wait, what?

"You two will work on the STI's involved with risky behavior." The teacher continued on to the explanation of the paper topics, ignoring the slack-jawed expressions on both Dib and Zim's faces. They were supposed to work together? No way!

Zim protested first, "I refuse!"

The teacher stopped mid-sentence. "Excuse me?"

Dib stood up, "I'm sorry sir, but we would not do well as a group. Please, put us with other people." Any other people!

The teacher shrugged. "Sorry, but that was the last group. It's either do the assignment or get an F. Remember, this counts for 25% of your grade."

Zim let out a screech, "Unacceptable!"

Nevertheless, even after an epic Zim hissy fit, the two were forced to work together.

* * *

Zim rang the doorbell to the Dib stink's house. He leaned onto the button, letting the constant annoying dinging throughout the house. He heard some pretty impressive growling before the door opened.

Gaz glared at him, "What do you want?"

"I must complete my mission! The earth monkey and I must do this filthy earthanoid projekt!"

Gaz turned around and left, leaving the door open. Zim went ahead and just walked inside. He walked to where he knew Dib's room was. Dib was already there, clacking away on the keyboard.

"Hey, Zim." Dib clacked a few more times and then stopped. "You got the textbook?"

"Yes," Zim threw the outdated pack of papers onto Dib's bed. "Stupid human anatomy."

"Whatever, let's just get this done." Dib walked over to the printer. "Alright, so I've gotten most of it written. We just need to scan a couple of pictures and we're done."

"What? That was fast." Zim has expected something a little…longer lasting and painful, like torture except without the mess to clean up.

"Yeah, well it only took me half an hour. I mean, they've been lecturing us about this stuff for awhile now." Dib got the textbook and went over to the scanner. "You know everything there is to know right?"

"More or less." Zim rubbed his eyes, "Stupid lenses. Always so itchy."

"Then take them off. Nothing I haven't seen before."

"True," Zim popped his contacts out, and even took off his wig. He scratched the top of his head, "So then, that's really it? You're not going to make me do anything?"

"Nah, besides, it's just a stupid skool projekt." Dib pressed a few buttons. The pages printed out, Dib retrieved them. "What's your anatomy like anyway?"

"None of your business, worm." Zim glared, "The almighty Zim never reveals such Irkan secrets!"

"Well that's not fair! You know all of our stuff!" Dib smirked, "You know, maybe I will tell the teacher this was my work and not yours. I wonder how he'll react?" He put the pictures in the proper places between the pages of the paper and stapled it all together. He set it aside on his desk.

"Grrr," Zim seethed, "Fine!" He started taking off his clothes.

"Hey! Wait, whoa!" Dib covered his eyes, "I meant just tell me about it!"

"What kind of scientist are you? Just look!" Zim stood, completely in the nude.

Dib felt his curiosity get the better of him. He peeked through his hands, "Huh." He dropped his hands altogether. There wasn't anything much to see. A slit went down from Zim's navel, a very slim one at that. If Dib hadn't been looking for something down there he probably wouldn't have seen it. "You don't have a penis. Are you…?" Dib looked up. Zim had what looked like nipples. They were very tiny, dark green nubs. Otherwise, just the lanky, green alien guy he'd always known.

"What?" Zim quirked a brow, "I am male, if that's what you're getting at. Unlike humans, we don't like to dangle our necessary appendages around."

"You mean, your penis is inside you?" Dib thought about it, "Well, I guess that make sense." Humans were kind of the odd species on their own planet for having dangling anatomy.

Zim glanced up and down at his nemesis, "Show me." Zim demanded.

"What?" Dib asked, perplexed.

"Take off your pants and show me." Zim said, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.

Dib sputtered a bit, "Wait, you mean, right here, right now?" He looked at his door. Gaz was home, but she probably didn't care, and his Dad was never home, but still! "Haven't you, you know?...Seen it all before?"

"Not really. Pictures and videos only go so far, and all of my test subjects were useful for the other and more important parts of destroying you Earth monkeys."

Dib twiddled his thumbs, really unsure about the proposal.

"What's the problem?" Zim asked in a snippy tone.

"Well, it's just, kind of…" Dib blushed a little. "…embarrassing."

"Why?" Zim put his face close to Dib's, "And why are you turning different colors?"

"It's just…" Dib thought about it. Actually, Zim probably wouldn't care. This was just an experiment to him. Nothing to be embarrassed about really. "Okay." He stood up and faced Zim. He unzipped his pants, moved his boxers just so, and popped out his seven inches. "Mine's the average size. Not much to look at really."

"Pull them down farther, I need to see it all." Zim walked up, still nude. Dib's face turned a shade more red. He pulled down his boxers and pants, completely exposing himself.

"Is that good enough?" He prayed it was. Zim might think nothing about the situation as being weird, but Dib was definitely terrified about what was going to happen, or if anything was going to happen. Oddly enough, he could feel his dick getting a bit stiff from the thought of being…No, no, no! No getting turned on by your nemesis! Dib lectured to himself.

Zim brought up a hand to touch. Dib forced himself to stay still, "I'm very sensitive down there, so be careful how you-OH!" The hand wrapped around Dib's cock. "Hey! Let go!" He did not sign on for this! "Ah!" The hand slid up and down slowly, "Zim! Quit it!"

"Why? I thought it was enjoyable?" Zim stroked the penis over and over again. "Hmm, increase in blood flow, making the flesh 'hard' and causing the limb to rise. It's exactly how the internet said it was." He put his other hand inside. He found the sack and fondled with it for a bit. "Hmmm, I didn't expect them to be this soft."

Dib's face was definitely tomato colored now. "Zim! That's not allowed! Let go!" He tried to put a hand down to stop it, but Zim simply slapped his hand away. "I mean it!"

"But you obviously like it." Zim pushed his thumb along the sensitive vein under the limb. Dib's eyes rolled.

"N-natural bodily re-ah!" Dib moaned as Zim's thumb rolled around the head, "Reaction!" At least, that's what he kept telling himself. "Zim, if you don't stop, I'll-I'll-!" He wanted to say something threatening, but that's kind of hard to do when you're getting jacked off by hands other than your own for the first time.

Zim just kept on, "Oh hush, worm. Be thankful my goal is not your demise." Dib's knees began to weaken. Zim watched with fascination as the erect cock became an angry pink color. "Hmm, you must be getting close to releasing your sperm." He took his hand fondling the balls and went in a little father. Dib's hips bucked. Zim pressed two digits against the scrotum, and Dib cried out.

"Please, Zim!" Wait, should he beg for the alien to stop or keep going? How the hell did this happen?

"Oh, be quiet." Zim saw Dib's legs weakening, "Tch! Such a flaw in your design, to be utterly incapacitated during your reproductive acts." He nudged the boy towards the bed, "Pitiful."

Dib shook his head, gasping, "Zim, I-I-!" The backs of his knees hit the bed, and Dib let himself sit down.

Zim growled, "Lay back! I can't work this way!"

Beyond rational thought, Dib laid back, shaking and moaning. "Ple-please, I-I can't hold it in!"

"You'd better! I'm not done yet." Zim's hand still stroking the cock stopped at the base and squeezed, "That should stop you." His fingers pressed into the scrotum again. Dib's hips bucked. "Hmmm, a sensitive spot." Zim went in further.

Dib shook his head, "No! Not there!"

"Silence!" Zim pressed one of his digits just inside the tight ring of muscle. "If you don't relax, this could hurt."

Dib's face became bright red, "Zim, please! No! I can't!" He felt tears fighting their way into his eyes.

Zim saw that, and sighed, "Oh alright." He retreated. "I suppose you want to finish, yes?"

"Please?" Dib asked, truly afraid Zim would just leave him here.

Zim seemed to think about it, "Fine." He let go of the base, and his other hand came completely out from Dib's pants, which were pretty much off Dib's hips anyway.

"Ah!" Zim stroked a little faster than before, obviously just wanting this event done and over with.

Dib let out a deep moan. His cum came out in spurts, and Zim found it quite amusing. "Ha! It looks like vanilla frosting."

"What?" Dib found himself laughing a little, "What frosting looks like-? You know what, I don't want to know." Dib took off his shirt, and started cleaning up the mess.

Zim's PAK brought out a small tube, and Zim put some of the stuff on his fingers into the tube. "This will be interesting to look at."

"Zim, if I find out your made mutant babies from my sperm-." Dib had just finished cleaning up. He threw the dirty shirt into the hamper near his dresser.

"Oh please, like I want more Earth stinks like you roaming about." Zim looked at his hand, slightly burning. "Hmmm, I forgot your kind are made up of water." His PAK brought out a cloth, which he promptly wiped his skin with. "Stupid Earth creatures, stupid water."

Dib shrugged, "You shouldn't have jerked me off, then." Dib walked over to the desk. Just pretend that didn't just happen, he told himself. Just pretend it was only an experiment…Because that is all it was! An experiment! Nothing else!

Dib gave Zim the paper, "Here, you can turn it in tomorrow. I'm not going to be there."

"Huh?" Zim glared at the human boy, "Why not? What are you scheming!"

"Uh, no schemes, I'm going to do a Koolege visit." Dib picked up the pamphlet to show him. "You know, you probably need to start looking at them too. Can't stay in Skool forever, it'd be too suspicious."

Zim huffed, "I'll figure it out."

"Hey, Zim?"

"Yes?" Zim quirked a brow.

"Can you…put your clothes back on?"


	4. The Abysmal Next Level

Disclaimer: I do not own the Zim. The Zim owns my brain meats. Vasquez owns Zim. By transitive property, Vasquez owns my brain meats.

* * *

**The Abysmal Next Level **

"Wow!" The teacher was impressed with the paper Zim turned in. "This is some good work! You two make excellent partners. I really don't understand why you thought differently."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, we," he spat out the word, "are amazing. Now, what grade will you give the Dib monster and myself?"

"Oh, definitely an A+." The teacher said with a smile.

Zim did a little happy dance. "Yes!"

"Actually, I was wondering if you two might take this to the next level!"

"Eh?" Zim froze in place. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, I was hoping you two would make this publishable! You put in some very good insights into the psychological aspects of risky behavior."

"What?!" Zim couldn't believe this! "We have to work together again?!"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll get through it. Just keep doing what you've been doing."

Zim paused to think about it. Actually, he did need to do another round of experiments… "Fine, the Dib and I will work on this…thing together."

* * *

Dib was surprised when he got to his hotel that a floating vid screen waiting for him. At first, he thought it was from his father, but the face that popped up was far too green to be his Dad.

"Oh, uh, hey Zim, what's up?" Dib walked over to the vid screen, setting his overnight bag on the ground.

Zim growled out, "Our beloved teacher wants us to work together again. She said it's…" He looked at the paper, "poobleeeeshable."

"Oh, you mean publishable?" Dib tilted his head. "Huh, well, I'm not really interested."

"And you think I am?!" Zim pointed at him. "Since you made the problem, you're going to fix it. Come over to my base as soon as you get back! We'll discuss everything there!" And with that, Zim's face was gone.

Dib sighed. "Whatever." A small beeping sound caught his attention. He looked curiously at the vid screen.

"This message will self destruct in- NOW!"

Dib dove behind the bed.

BOOM!

"Damn you Zim!"

* * *

Zim sat in Historie class bored out of his mind. He looked over to the chair that normally housed his nemesis. Of course, there was only an empty space to taunt him. In the usual routine, Zim would throw something at Dib, Dib would of course then retaliate with a few choice words in Zim's direction, Zim would taunt him some more, Dib would give a challenge, Zim would accept the challenge, and then things would explode. No more boredom, which Zim would like to believe was almost equally beneficial.

But the Dib was not there. And so, much boredom to be had. Zim sighed and stretched his arms over his head. He heard someone swooning over his motion a few rows back.

Zim lightly growled. Both the Dib and Zim had picked up a few "crushies" in Hiskool. For a time, Zim had thought to use them as minions to destroy the world and the Dib. The plan ended in an almost explosively ironic way when the "crushies" had all decided to ban together in their quests to try and gain Dib and Zim's favor. Dib merely ran away. Zim had to smother the urge to annihilate them all.

Zim thanked the Tallest when the bell rang. Unfortunately, he was not fast enough to escape the crushie's grasp.

"ZIM!" A pastey, pale, blonde female suddenly screeched in front of him. "What cha doin' after skool? Huh? HUH!"

Zim backed away a few steps. The hideousness of this one never failed to make Zim gag. Her huge mammary glands jiggled before him. He wondered if they were supposed to be hypnotic like that zit he had all those years ago. And her face! It was like a doll in the flesh. So creepy! Where were her pores?! The eyes were bright green, with the light shining almost seemingly from within. Perhaps radioactive?!

Zim gulped his bile down and told the female, "I am visiting the Dibstink. We have a projekt we must do together."

"Oh," the female deflated, "that's too bad. I was hoping you would come hang out with me."

Zim suppressed the violent desire to shiver in disgust, "Yes, well, perhaps some other time I will grace you with my presence, yes? Alright then, bye!" And with that, Zim shot out of that room like he was on fire, and he'd been on fire enough to know just how fast that was.

When Zim burst out through the front of the skool he noticed that most of the other students had gone home. Thankful that he would not be molested again, Zim marched down the street towards his house. On the way there, he caught up to Dib's younger blood relative.

"Hello, there, uh, GAZ!" Zim yelled unnecessarily.

Gaz continued to play her game as she walked, "What do you want Zim?" She managed to defeat the boss level in less than a minute. Yay accomplishments.

"When will your FILTHY EARTHSTINK brother be home?" Zim asked.

Gaz sighed. "Tonight, probably around dinnertime."

"Oh…that late?" Zim mulled over that, "I ordered him to my house as soon as he got back, but that late? He won't be at top performance to finish the thing."

Gaz spared a moment to glare at Zim walking beside her. "Then just order him not to go." She put her focus back on the game.

Zim sighed. "I suppose that would be…" Zim thought about it for the moment. "Perhaps I'll stop in tonight instead. And then, we'll set up a new time for that projekt. Yes, that's it! I'm brilliant! I AM ZIM!"

Gaz felt the alien run back in the correct direction of his house. "Idiot."

* * *

When Dib got back home, he found himself a little disillusioned at the prospect of college. Seriously, what the hell? It was just a bunch of barely above average pot-smoking guys and gals that just sat around pretending to learn. Dib sighed. Granted, this was a public college, but he had expected something a little more…more.

Dib got to his room, throwing his bags in a heap before falling back onto his bed. His sister walked in two seconds later. She didn't have her GameSlave, so that could only mean dinnertime.

"We're having potatoes. Dad says come downstairs."

"Okay. Give me a minute." Dib took off his glasses and wiped them with his shirt. "Anything happen while I was gone?"

Gaz shrugged. "Not really. Zim made something explode in the Chemistry lab, but that's like the fifth time this month."

Dib rolled his eyes. "I can only imagine what he was plotting this time." He put his glasses back on and groaned while he got up off the bed. "I feel old."

"You're only eighteen. Quit complaining, whiner." She turned around and walked back downstairs.

Dib felt like something was watching him all of a sudden. Tensing, he turned around to look out his window.

And there was GIR, eating a taco. "Hi!" He screamed. "What'cha doin'?!"

Dib just stared at him. "What are you doing at my house?"

"Mastah came over for dinnah!"

Dib shouted, "What?" And promptly ran downstairs.

Gaz was sitting at the dinner table, "About time!"

Dib ran past her to the door. He opened it just as Zim prepared to fire his lasergun.

"Seriously, Zim, you've knocked and rang the doorbell before. I swear, we will just answer the door if you keep doing that."

"I won't." Gaz said, "He's annoying. He should just stay outside."

Dib groaned,. "Alright, I will answer the door, just quit blowing up parts of my house!"

"Nice to see you too, Dib-stink." Zim sauntered into the kitchen. "Ah, potatoes! I like potatoes!"

"Pull up a chair and shut up." Gaz said, waiting for the vid-screen, robot, maid thing to bring the food.

Zim slid into a chair. He looked over at Dib, expectantly. "So?"

Dib sat down. "So?"

Zim growled. "The Koolege thing! Have you been sucked into its filthy grasp?!"

Dib shrugged. "Eh. I think I'll keep shopping around."

Gaz snorted. "Or you could just do what dad said and just get locked away. It's about the same thing."

"Yeah, but I hate being medicated." Dib said, "I'd rather have some lucidity."

Zim shrugged. "I can do without it."

The vid, robot, maid thing came back with slightly burnt baked potatoes that had what was probably supposed to be cheese on them.

Professor Membrane's voice blasted from the vid-screen, "Dinner is served! Don't forget to do your homework. And feed the puppy!"

Gaz sighed. "Dad really needs to update these more often."

Zim looked around, and then under the table. "I see no hell hound."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Our puppy died like ten years ago."

Zim gasped and shot up to his feet on the chair. "There's a zombie hell hound?!"

"No, Zim, it's-MPH!"

Gaz slapped a hand over his mouth, smirking. "Yes, but he's also quite elusive." Gaz chuckled. "We've trained him to be stealthy."

Zim screeched, "I knew it! I knew you were up to something!" Zim pointed accusingly at Dib. "I will get you for the zombie dog from hell!"

Dib just stared at him in a deadpanned way. Gaz continued to keep her hand over his mouth, "You should probably run away screaming now."

Zim almost did just that when the front door blew up and GIR came running inside, "WEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO OO!" He threw off his dog suit. "Let's be nudists!"

"GIR!" Zim chased after his demented robot. "I told you to stay in the cruiser!"

Gaz glared at Dib. "You couldn't have normal friends?"

Dib glared back at her, moving the hand off his mouth. "Look who's talking." He got up and walked over to a wall panel. It slid away, and Dib pressed a few buttons. A bunch of arms shot out. About five of them grappled with Zim while about ten tried to capture GIR.

Dib walked over to the front of Zim. "Okay, are you going to listen now?"

Zim growled menacingly. "Release Zim!"

"There is no zombie hell hound." Dib sighed as Zim flailed about in his restraints, obviously not paying attention. "Gaz was just messing with you." Dib shook his head. "I have a crazed alien invader captured in my house who thinks I own a zombie hell hound."

Gaz glared at him. "Are you whining again?"

"No…just contemplating how very quickly my life gets crazy." Dib put his hands on Zim's shoulders. "Is there any particular reason you're here, Zim? Besides tormenting me?"

Zim froze for a beat, and then exclaimed, "When should Zim turn off the gnomes of destruction so your stinkness can have the honor of entering Zim's base?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "I'll go to your house at about four. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Zim relaxed and the arms let go of him. "Would you like snacks?" He asked with a sharp toothed grin.

"Zim," Dib glared at his nemesis. "If you ever serve me those again, I won't bother trying to unveil you, I'll just blow your base up."

Zim's eyes widened. "You really don't like slug juice?"

"No, no I don't, and I never will."

Gaz's face turned a little green. "I don't even want to know."

Zim marched his way back over to the table. "I hope the potatoes aren't cold."

Dib sat down to eat. "I hope so, too. Potatoes are terrible when they're cold."

"I agree." Zim stated as he popped a spoonful into his mouth.

And from there, dinner was relatively uneventful. GIR was still running around while the defense system tried to capture him. Dib and Zim exchanged insults every few minutes, but nothing terribly exciting. Gaz ended up playing her game while the other two finished their meal.

No one bothered to question why there were three plates made when it was only supposed to be Gaz and Dib. They gave up questioning things like that a long time ago.

Soon, dinner was done and it was time for bed.

"Zim, look, I'm tired, exhausted really. Please, just go home, okay?" Dib used to pray that the alien wouldn't take advantage of his weakened state and end him once and for all. Now, he just prayed Zim would listen to reason and do what he asked.

"I don't want to." Zim said petulantly, "Zim is bored."

"Whatever, I'm going to bed." Dib got up. "Goodnight, Gaz."

The girl's eyes were glued to her handheld. "Uh-huh, whatever."

Dib walked to his room. He tried to pretend that Zim wasn't following him to the room. He also tried to pretend that really naughty thoughts had not begun to accumulate within his huge head.

"Zim?" Dib turned around just in front of his room. "Do you need something? Because I just want to go to bed."

Zim seemed to think over something really hard. "Zim would like to do further research on the Dib-stink." He suddenly puffed up. "And the worm baby will let me or suffer the consequences!"

Dib's eyes got big. "Uh, Zim, if you're demanding what I think you are, the answer is not only a no…" He twirled around, flung open his door, and bolted it locked behind him. Dib shouted, "Security! Defense systems up!"

On the other side of the door, Zim growled. "Insolent fool!" He brought out his laser gun. "Did you think you could escape me?! THE ALMIGHTY ZIM!"

A blast hit the door, only to ricochet off the door, nearly taking Zim's head off. Zim ducked just in time. The laser melted through the wall behind him. It kept going through until it hit the neighbor's side window. Zim ignored the sound of screams and sirens as he stared in befuddlement at Dib's door.

"Heh?" Zim tilted his head to the side. "How did he make it laser proof?"

Dib shouted from inside his room, "It's called a force field, Zim! Take that!"

"Oh, don't worry, Zim will take that and more!" Zim's PAK shot out with the communicator. "GIR! Go destroy the main power source to the house!"

"Yes, sir! WHEEEEE!" Zim heard the sound of GIR's thrusters igniting and then the distinct sound of crashing glass. Zim tapped his foot as he waited. Hopefully, GIR would actually accomplish his mission so Zim wouldn't have to do it himself.

A sudden explosion rocked the house. "I DID IT!" The communicator screamed at Zim.

Sure enough, the lights flickered and then went off. Power to the house was down. "Good job, GIR! Now go home."

"Okey dokey!"

Zim tried his laser again, and the door burst into a million little pieces. He got in there, and found Dib hiding behind a chair.

Dib seemed to be shivering. "Go away!" His wide eyes locked onto the space where the door used to be. "I don't want to!"

Zim put his laser gun away. Then, he put his hands on his hips. He knew the human had an idea of where he was, but in the darkness it would be hard to see Zim. Quietly, he made his way around the human's left side. Dib shot up and looked in his general direction, but it was obvious he couldn't see his enemy very well.

"Zim, seriously, no!" Dib tried to back away from the shadow that he thought was Zim. "I just want to go to sleep." Yeah, that wasn't entirely true. He kind of wanted the alien to touch him, lick him, and all that fun stuff. But Zim was his enemy! It wasn't right!

And then, a distinct voice murmured into his right ear, "It's a good thing I don't care what you want."

Dib jumped. "Holy-!" His legs were kicked out from underneath him. He let out a very undignified squeak. "Zim!" His knees hit the floor, and he slumped over.

Zim wrapped his arms suddenly wrapped around Dib in a vice, "Now, we will perform the," Zim curled his lip, "making out process."

Dib squirmed in the hold. "Why do you want to do something if you don't even like it?"

"Silence! It's in the name of science!" And with that, Zim put one of his hands up Dib's shirt. "Now hold still."

Dib tried to ignore the clawed fingers caressing, pinching, and scratching his chest. He tried to pretend that he wasn't panting out his breaths after only a little bit of Zim's touch. Also, the fact that his pants were getting a little too tight for comfort was not happening, not at all.

Zim bit softly into the human's neck. He didn't understand why the act of biting was supposed to be erotic, but Dib certainly reacted positively. That is, if a low moan and a curving back into the alien's embrace was positive.

"Zim! My neck is sensitive. Stop it!" Dib tried to give one last act of resistance by trying to escape the hold.

Then, Zim smirked cruelly. "Oh?" He bit harder into the flesh.

Dib gasped. He flung his head back to rest on Zim's shoulder. "Zim! Oh! Oh!"

Zim was sucking on the skin now. Dib made cute little whimpering sounds as he thrashed around in Zim's arms. Zim's hands suddenly dipped lower, going just inside the human's pants. Dib knew he should protest, should fight back, but dear God! It felt so good!

Zim gently scratched up Dib's abs, which were not quite as toned as Zim's, but still pretty good. Dib sucked in air through his teeth.

Then, Zim grabbed two pieces of fabric on Dib's shirt. RIP!

Dib felt the cold air hit his skin, and his nipples hardened just like that. "Zim!" He gasped for air. "My shirt!"

Zim harshly took his mouth off Dib's skin. "Oh, hush. You've got plenty of them."

"That is not the point-geh!" Zim had finally managed to get a hand down his pants. "Zim! Don't touch-! Ah!" Dib felt his erection being touched by a cool, gloved hand. "Zim!"

In an embarrassing display, Dib came into Zim's hand without any preamble of a good tug. Dib felt his whole body light up in humiliation. Zim had stopped playing with his neck and tensed behind Dib in what was surely confusion.

Dib, panting, managed to say, "Please let go of me."

Zim released Dib's limp dick. He said into Dib's ear, "Interesting. Sensitive spots can bring a faster ejaculation." Zim honestly seemed fascinated.

Dib tried to get out of Zim's grasp. "Zim, I need to go take a shower and go to bed." He started fighting in earnest now. "Look, you got what you wanted, let me go!"

Zim sighed. "Yes, that is true." He released Dib and got up. As he strode towards the gaping hole that once held a door, he said, "I expect you at my house at exactly four. If you're late, I'll destroy you! That is all."

And just like that, Zim was gone.


	5. Stupid Avoidance Issues

Disclaimer: Don't bother to sue me. I don't own Invader Zim and I make no money. I am merely a humble fanfic writer with insanity problems here and there. And sometimes I explode.

* * *

**Stupid Avoidance Issues**

At Hiskool the next day, Dib tried his best to stay away from Zim. In the morning, he showed up late to school in order to miss a usual morning routine of banter with Zim. Zim glared at him suspiciously when he showed up to class. Dib pretended not to notice the stare of doom all through the class period. Later on, he actually faked ill and skipped Addvanced Byolgie.

Zim, in true peeved Irken style, then proceeded to track him down. Dib had sneaked out of the nurse's station via an air duct just as Zim clicked-clacked on his spider legs into the room. Dib watched as Zim blew up the table on which Dib had been laying. When he thought it was safe, Dib had gotten out of the air vent and moved to the cafeteria for lunch. He quickly just got a moldy apple and ran out.

Dib knew he couldn't avoid Zim forever. After all, they still had to finish the publishing issue, and Dib still had to show the public that Zim was an alien monstrosity trying to destroy Earth. He couldn't really do that while running away.

Still, Zim had become dangerous in a whole new way. Dib knew that he couldn't fight Zim off when he actually wanted the green bastard to touch him. He'd been successful at fighting Zim despite his lust before the "research" because he knew that it wasn't possible. Zim hated humans and that was that.

But now-.

"DIB!" Zim screeched as came around a corner in front of Dib. The human had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't been paying attention.

Maybe if he appeared nonchalant, just pretended he hadn't been avoiding Zim, he could get out of this mess."Yeah Zim?"

The livid alien stalked up to him. "Zim demands to know why you have been avoiding him!"

Dib looked at the wall to his left. "I just, you know…" He thought really hard for a good excuse. Surely there was one in his big head somewhere. "I didn't want to start up a fight." Yeah, that was it! "You know, we've got to work together for right now, and I didn't want some stupid argument to end up with us failing the class."

Zim mulled over the reasoning. "I suppose that is a good excuse." He didn't seem completely convinced. He crossed his arms, a mannerism he adopted from the humans and said, "But it is unnecessary to worry about such a silly thing. We've managed to fight and keep up our grades fine throughout these years. We can manage it still." Zim glared at Dib. "Besides, I require further research. I would not want to damage you at the present time. Relax, Dib-stink, and quit avoiding the mighty ZIM!"

Zim proceeded to turn around and march off. Dib let out a sigh of relief. He'd dodged a bullet there, but what about at four o'clock today?

Life sucked.

* * *

After school, Dib contemplated his situation on his bed at home. He knew he couldn't avoid the Irkan, but he also didn't want Zim to touch him and do…things. How was he going to get out of it? Dib scratched out his mental checklist of excuses.

Faking sick was a big no-no. Ever since that noxious concoction Zim gave him all those years ago, Dib never got sick again. He could say that his dad wanted him to help out in some research, that happened from time to time, but Zim would want to know what was going on and just barge inside.

Dib sighed. "Guess I just got to go over there." He glanced over at his clock. 3:30 pm lit up in the tiny box, taunting him that he needed to go. Dib sat up, making a decision.

"Alright, I'll go! But I'm not going in unarmed." Dib searched through his room. He collected a phasing ray he'd stolen from Tak's ship a long time ago, his own version of a taser built specifically to Irkan modifications (Zim had become immune to most electric attacks, so Dib attained the ultimate powered one from the internet), and a baton he stole from an unconscious cop. People should really learn not to get in between him and Zim. It just never ended well for them.

Meanwhile, Zim tapped his foot impatiently. His clock informed him that the Dib thing should be arriving in only five more minutes. Zim was fully prepared to drag the little meat-sack over if need be, but he hoped the Earth boy feared his wrath enough to come on his own.

Zim looked around. "Is everything prepared, Computer?"

Computer sighed. "Yes, everything's ready." He mumbled under his breath, "Weirdo."

Zim glared in the general direction of the center to his house, "It's in the name of science!"

"Uh-huh, sure it is." Computer was obviously convinced.

Zim huffed with indignation. "What other possible reason could I have?! I hate the Dib-thing, and he hates me! It's purely an experiment, that's all!"

Computer made a snorting sound. "Sure, keep telling yourself that."

Zim stomped his foot. "The Dib and I have a mutual hatred agreement! As part of my hatred for the FILTHY MONSTER OF DOOM Zim must take every opportunity to crush his spirit."

Silence. Then, oh-so quietly, "Zim and Dib, sitting in a tree, K-I-SS-I-N-G…"

"WE HAVE NEVER KISSED! That's it, I'm going to dismantle you and find that bug! What computer snorts, defies his master, and sings?!"

Ding-dong! "Master! Your lover's at the door!"

"That's it! Go into sleep mode!" Zim stomped over to the door, grumbling Irkan curses under his breath.

He flung open the door. "Right on time for once, hyuman." Zim looked at Dib up and down. To the untrained eye, Dib looked like he was simply wearing his usual attire of t-shirt, black pants, and coat. Zim's eyes immediately caught all the weapons hidden on the boy's person. Baton, inside left thigh, taser inside jacket pocket, and Tak's weapon in a holster fitted for the boy's back.

Zim took note, but said nothing about it. Instead, he merely sidestepped. "Well, get inside! There's work to be done!"

Dib entered, feeling a little out of his element. Zim would usually demand Dib remove his weapons when he was over as a guest. Granted, the guest thing happened all of three times. Once to save the world together (Tak invasion), once because Zim demanded Dib celebrate Zim's Creation Day (the age of the Irkan actually terrified Dib a little), and then that one time randomly because Zim needed help understanding a homework project.

Zim held out his hand. "Please give me the stupid projekt." Dib handed over the paper in his hand. "Good. I'm going to add a few things." Zim walked over and plopped onto his couch, sitting Indian style. "Don't touch anything and sit down."

In blatant rebellion against the order, Dib wandered into the kitchen. He noted the oddities, but one in particular had always bothered him.

"I've always been meaning to ask…Why is there a toilet in your kitchen?"

"Huh?" Zim looked in and saw the offending porcelain bowl. "Oh, by the time I realized my mistake, it was too late to fix it." He went back to the paper, scribbling Irken symbols all over it. "Anyway, did you like that Koolege you visited?"

"I guess, I don't know. The whole Koolege thing seems nice and all, I just can't seem to find the right one." Dib looked over Zim's shoulder. "What are you writing?"

"Modifying a few things." Zim looked up at Dib. "By the way, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind another experiment."

"You mean," Dib's face turned a little pink, "like the one from last time?" He kind of squeaked out the last few words. He tried to ignore his cock immediately hardening from just the memories. He knew Zim would ask, but still. The forwardness always caught him by surprise.

"Something like that." Zim smirked evilly. "You do realize I don't need your permission?" He scribbled a few more Irkan symbols on the paper.

Dib stepped back. "Zim, look, I didn't bring it up last time, or the time before that, but stuff like this isn't supposed to be so formal. Usually people actually like each other before they," he gulped, "do stuff together." He reminded himself he was armed and ready.

"What foolishness!" Zim threw the paper and pen aside. "Your stupid human emotions don't matter to me! I need data, and since you were the subject before, you will be again, it's that simple."

"Zim!" Dib thought about fighting, but fighting included touching. He didn't want to touch Zim, or for Zim to touch him. Really, he didn't. Not at all. Right?

"I don't want to, and you can't make me!" Dib shot towards the door.

"Like Irk I can't! Computer! Lock down!" Zim screeched.

Dib almost collided with the metal wall that slammed over the front of the house. "I see you updated your security again." He turned to run towards the elevator. "But that won't stop me from escaping!"

"Computer! Capture Dib!"

Dib felt his arms and legs get snatched by metallic tentacles that shot out from the walls. "Zim, stop! This isn't funny!"

"I think it is." Zim grinned. "Besides, you'll like it, human. Your bodies are so easy to manipulate." Zim gripped the lapels of the coat, and then forced the coat off the boy's shoulders. "Perhaps it's best to unarm you first?"

Dib shook slightly in his grasp. "Zim, no."

"Oh yes." Zim took both hands and trailed around Dib's waist. "You should have fought. Better chances of escape." He took the phasing ray out of its holster from Dib's back. His face and Dib's were mere inches apart. "Or maybe you didn't want to?"

Dib's face turned bright red, "That's absurd! Of course I want to escape!"

"Is that so?" Zim smirked. "Then why aren't you fighting your restraints?" Zim threw the phasing ray off to the side. He trailed his hands back to the front. Gently, he clawed his way down both of the boy's thighs. Dib let out a tiny whimper.

"Because-Because I-I want to save my strength!" Dib shouted. He squeaked when both of Zim's hands slid inside his thighs. The one hand took out the baton and threw it across the room to land on the couch.

"Save your strength? Good idea." Zim grinned. "You'll need it for what's next." He brought a hand up, holding the taser. "We may even use a few of your tools. I hear hyumans like to get kinky."

Dib shook his head, trying to ignore his boner. "No means no!" Dib yelled. Then he blinked in amazement. "Wow, never thought I'd be saying that."

Zim put his hands on his hips. "You should be honored the almighty ZIM is taking such an interest in your pathetic worm baby body."

"But I don't want you, Zim!" Dib flailed about uselessly in the restraints. "Let me go!"

"Fine!" Zim got right up into Dib's face. "If not Zim, then who?"

Dib blinked. "What?"

"If not Zim, then who else?" Zim asked, as if it was obvious.

"I don't understand? Do you mean who would I want to do stuff with?"

"Yes." Zim said. "Who?"

"Uh," Dib thought about it. "Well, no one I can think of right now…" He tried really, really hard to think of just one name. "This is stupid, Zim."

Zim seemed to smirk triumphantly. "Oh?" He got in very close to Dib's face. "Then why are you already rising to the occasion?"

Dib's face became very, very red. He squeaked out, "Bodily reaction?"

Zim's hot breath fanned over Dib's lips. "But I haven't even started yet. I just took your weapons away, that's all." Zim smirked. "Don't you need something to react to before you can react?"

Dib shook his head and then he glared at Zim. "I hate you and you hate me! You have the internet to give you all the information you want! What could you possibly hope to gain from this?"

Zim was unfazed by the outburst. If anything, he seemed to enjoy Dib yelling at him so desperately. "For one thing, your humiliation and misery knowing I bested you yet again. For another," Zim smirked, "I'm just mean like that."

The floor beneath Dib opened, and the human fell into darkness. His girly scream echoed creepily, mingling with Zim's maniacal laughter.


	6. Invasion of a Different Kind

Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. Zim owns my brain meats. It's very sad.

Author's Note: OK, so fair warning, SEX! Also, thanks to crazyckick16, Guest, and Avianahelena for reviewing (especially to Ava since she reviewed three times). I am also grateful for favorites and alerts. On with the show!

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**Invasion of a Different Kind**

Dib woke up feeling cold. He opened his eyes, blinking away the haze from a familiar sedative in his system. When his sight came back, Dib quickly assessed his situation. Dib noticed first that he was butt naked, which did wonders for his nerves. Then, he realized he was in a bed, a really comfy one, too. Dib tried to sit up, but found he was strapped down to it with his hands over his head. His legs were in spread eagle position, held that way by metallic tentacles latched around his ankles.

"Aw, you're awake, good." Zim walked out of the shadow, clad only in his pants. "We can begin now."

Dib started to shake. "This is wrong, Zim! This is assault!" Dib's eyes darted around the room. Dib was surprised to discover he recognized this room, as a side-room that Zim used it as storage, until now.

"Oh be quiet." Zim walked around the bed. "Geesh, you'd think I'm about to skin you alive." He grabbed a liquid filled tube from off of a table. "I honestly don't understand why your species has made mating so complicated. Honestly, liking each other, ha! What's that got to do with making smeets?"

"They're called babies, you jerk." Dib watched as Zim popped the tube top open. "What is that?"

Zim walked over with the tube in hand. "It's a dilution smear. I do not like being burned by your sperm." He poured the stuff all over Dib's cock.

Dib gasped. "It's warm!"

Zim smirked. "Like it?" He watched Dib's cock stiffen upon contact. "I'll take that as a yes."

Dib felt his face burn. "I'll get you for this Zim."

"Yes, yes, whatever." Zim put the cap back on and threw the bottle aside.

"Wait, where's GIR?" Dib asked, worried.

"He's busy." Zim started stroking the cock with his hand. "Hmmm, your body is willing. Now if I can just get your logic centers to shut up."

Dib shook his head. "No, wait!" He felt his cock betray him and rise for the monster. "That's not fair!"

"Silence!" Zim brought his other hand down. "Now, let's try that hole of yours."

"Zim, no! Seriously, that's just gross!" Dib tried to wiggle his butt away, but Zim held him down by his hips with his other hand.

"Hold still!" Zim thrust a finger inside.

Dib cried out, "Hey!" He made an uncomfortable face. "Stop!"

The finger pushed and pushed, and then Zim's eyes lit up. "Found it!" He pressed on the prostate.

Dib gasped. It was an electrifying feeling straight to his dick. "Zim, what?"

"Told you!" Zim pressed on it over and over again. His thumb pressed on the scrotum's sensitive spot. "Come for me, Dib."

The human did, letting out a small wail.

Dib prayed that it was over. But he heard Zim grumble something to himself.

Zim groaned. "Great." He could feel his own limb start to push out from his cavity. He took off his pants and threw them aside.

Dib watched in fear and fascination as a long limb came out from the small slit. Zim felt his smeet maker oozing with slooch. It had been awhile. Why not?

"I suppose we'll take this all the way." Zim grabbed the boy's legs, hooking them over his shoulders. The restraints were told via mental link to give just enough slack for this to happen.

Dib let out a whimper. "Zim." He couldn't believe it. Zim was about to-to-! He closed his eyes.

The alien merely took some of his slooch onto one of his fingers. "Hold still human!" Zim thrust a finger into the hole. He knew that the human males didn't lubricate like Irkans, and lubrication was needed for his smeet maker to slide in and out without friction problems. As much as he enjoyed causing Dib pain, he didn't want to harm his own smeet maker in the process.

Dib thrashed underneath him. He had never considered himself gay, but the fingering felt kind of good. Weird, but good. The teen's cock was steadily becoming hard again, and every jerking movement was torture. "Zim!"

"Shut up! Allow the almighty Zim to smex you up!"

If it hadn't been for the situation at hand, Dib would've burst up laughing.

As it was, Zim had taken his finger out, positioned himself, and thrust in without any hesitation.

Dib moaned, "Oh God." It was gross, really. Something long and hard and slick had just shoved itself inside his anus. Still, it felt…good! "Ah! Ah! Zim!"

Zim set off at a medium pace. "Fine, fine." He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Dib's tight walls around his cock. Dib, pinned to the bed as he was, moaned and writhed in pleasure, meeting the thrusts as best he could.

Zim came quickly. When the alien spurted his seed into Dib, the human was very surprised, and disappointed. He thought it would be longer.

He was right. The green alien's flaccid limb went back inside his slit. He positioned himself over Dib's cock, "Hold still, again, earthling." And with that, Zim impaled himself on the cock.

"Ah!" Dib's eyes rolled into the back of his head. "I-I thought you said you were-!"

"I am. I am also female, according to your primitive standards." Zim rocked up and down, eyes closed again. "Mmmm, I like your what's it human." Fleshy, soft, hard, but not as hard as his kind's. "Come on, Dib. Don't make me wait all day."

The human came with a screech. Zim smirked in triumph. The human's sticky goo pulsed over and over into his cavern. Suddenly, he frowned. He had never tested to see if Irkans and Humans were compatible. If they were…eh, he'd cross that bridge when he got to it.

Zim got up, leaving a panting Dib on the bed. "That was fun."

"Yeah," Dib said, catching his breath. "Fun."

Zim walked over to his clothes, "Enlightening too. I can see maybe why your kind like sex so much. It was enjoyable." Zim started putting his uniform back on. "See you tomorrow at skool, Dib, I have things to do."

Dib felt his eyes getting heavy. "Oh, okay." The human drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Meanwhile on the Massive, Red paced back and forth in the Tallests' quarters. "I'm bored!"

Purple was looking at a whole bunch of incoming messages. Essentially, most of the invaders had accomplished their missions. Impending Doom II was almost complete. It was just a matter of time before the surrounding galaxies were theirs.

However, with success comes no challenge, and no challenge equals boredom.

Purple turned to look at his partner. "Well, the parties will be in a couple of days. You won't be bored then."

Red sighed in a very dramatic fashion. "But we always have parties! I want to do something!"

Purple thought about that. "You mean, like, doing something yourself?" He scrunched up his face. "Sounds like…_work_."

"Aw, come on Pur! Don't you remember when we were invaders?" He looked forlornly out into the distance. "Dominating planets one by one with our own two hands! So many killed, so many explosions!" He smiled maniacally. "It was so much fun!"

Purple sighed too. "Yeah, I think I liked killing off our competition for Tallest the most." He shook his head. "But that was then, and this is now." He turned back to the messages. "Oh…well that's surprising."

"What?" Red asked, finally coming back to the present.

"Zim didn't message us back. That's weird." Purple thought about it. "I wonder if he's finally dead?"

Red pouted. "But he was amusing!"

"Yeah, well, what can you do?" Purple asked rhetorically.

Red's light bulb lit up. "Hey, I know! I can go avenge him!"

"Say what?" Purple twirled around. "I thought we wanted him gone?"

"Not the point! I'm bored, Earth's just some random planet no one cares about, and Zim, one of our invaders, has been killed by their kind. Why not?"

"It seems like a waste of materials-." Purple tried to reason.

"We're getting shiploads of materials from our conquered planets! Come on, Red, one more planet for old time's sake!"

Purple thought about it. "Nah, you go ahead. I'm going to stay here for the parties."

Red shrugged. "Suit yourself." He raced to the door. "Be back soon!"

Purple rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

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Please review! Reviews make me all happy inside!


	7. Possessive Tendencies

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I own practically nothing, actually.

Author's note: Sorry it's been so long, guys. Life has been rather hectic. Now that it's slowed down, I'm uploading. Here's the next chapter! Special thanks to crazychick16, MoiTrueDreamWriter, AsianCutie 93, and theheartstourniquet for reviewing. I really appreciate your feedback! Also, I am thankful to all the people who put this fic in their reviews and on alert.

1/28/2013: Thanks to input from Avianahelena (the best grammar Nazi I've ever known).

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**Possessive Tendencies**

The next day at skool, Dib blushed every time he looked at Zim, thought of Zim, heard Zim's voice, saw the letter Z in a textbook…Essentially, he went around skool with a perpetual tomato face the entire morning. Zim smirked in victory every time he noticed his effect on the boy.

When lunchtime rolled around, Dib sat next to his sister and a couple of "friends" he'd gained through the years. He didn't really talk much, just poked at his food while everyone else chattered around him. His thoughts were interrupted by a girlish squeal.

"Dib! How are you?" Dib cringed at the sound of Gretchen's voice. The girl would not stop crushing over him.

"Hi, Gretchen." He replied, wanting to be polite. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Just great!" She plopped down next to him, and Dib had to stifle a groan. "Yesterday, I played Demons and Goblins with my friends, and I totally got a thousand life points! It's was so much fun. Dib, you should come sometime!"

"Uh, no thanks Gretchen. I tried playing D&G and it's just not my thing." Dib recalled how he essentially owned everyone and was banned for being too good at it. Apparently, being too good at something could be bad. Who knew?

"Oh, well, what about movies?" She asked, trying to be subtle. "Do you like movies?" She fluttered her lashes at him.

Dib gulped, "Uh, I like some movies more than others…"

"How about the new movie coming out this weekend, 'Attack of the Mutant Spawn'? Would you like to see that one?" Gretchen somehow managed to get closer to Dib.

Dib tried to get farther away by leaning back. Gaz growled at him, warning not to touch. He was trapped! "A-Actually I've got things to do this weekend, I don't think I can go."

Gretchen shook her head. "No you don't! You said so in class!"

Dib thought back. Oh yeah, he did say that to someone, didn't he? Dammit! "Look, Gretchen, it's just that-."

"Dib has plans with ZIM, meatbag!"

Dib turned to look at Zim, "What? No I don't!" Dib tried to ignore the growing bulge in his pants. Bodily reaction, Dib, bodily reaction! He kept telling himself.

Zim glared at Dib. "You do now." He pointed at Gretchen. "Be gone! You are a nuisance!" He shoved her out of the bench, replacing her with himself.

Dib watched in horror as Gretchen's eyes filled up with tears and she ran away.

"I'm so sorry!" Dib yelled after her. He tried to get up, but Zim had a hold on his arm.

Zim said sarcastically, "You're sorry? Please, spare me such idiocy. You're glad she's gone!" He crossed his arms and thrust his chin up. "I await praise for the almighty ZIM!"

Dib glared at him. "I'm not praising you! I'm-I'm-!" He clenched his fists. "I'm leaving!" He grabbed his backpack and stomped away. He got halfway down the hall when a three-fingered, gloved hand grabbed him again.

"I demand you stop!" Zim yanked Dib around by his shoulders.

Zim was surprised to discover a few tears rolling out of Dib's eyes. Zim asked with all the shock and horror an alien could, "Why are you leaking?"

Dib flicked his tears away. "It's called crying, Zim, and tt's nothing." He tried to turn his face away, but Zim gripped his face with both hands.

"LIES!" He hissed, "Tell me why you spill bodily fluids from your eye sockets!"

Dib tried to push the hands away, but they were on tight. "Look, I'm just not feeling well, okay? Let me go."

Zim refused. Instead, he brought his face in close, as in way too close. "Tell Zim the truth."

"Fine!" Dib shoved the Irken away. "Maybe I'm not okay with having my virginity taken as a lab experiment! Maybe I don't want to be jerked off by an alien who couldn't care less if I lived or died? And maybe, just maybe I want the chance to be with someone else, but I can't because the same damn alien won't let me!"

Dib finally stopped to breathe. Zim stared at him, utterly clueless. "Enh?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Oh, whatever!" He tried to leave again, but abruptly Zim flung Dib to a wall.

Zim shot out his PAK limbs, and stuck Dib's clothes through to the concrete, pinning the human in place. "Don't you dare blame me for all of this, Earth monkey!" He poked Dib in the chest. "You could've stopped Zim and you know it! Had you really hated the idea of me 'jerking you off' you could've used one of your puny weapons stashed all over your room."

Zim leaned in close. "And if you didn't want me taking your virginity, why didn't you simply get out of the restraints? You and I both know you can get out of them with ease. Zim couldn't autopsy you even if Zim wanted to, you slippery worm!"

"Shut up!" Dib screamed, trying to kick at Zim. "I hate you!"

"And I hate you, Dibstink!" Zim grazed his clawed hand down the boy's torso, "But if you think Zim will let anyone else have what is his, you are terribly mistaken."

The obnoxious clanging of the skool's warning bell for class interrupted their fight. Zim backed away from Dib as students filled the halls, running to their lockers quickly. Zim pointed at Dib as he promised, "Zim is not finished. We will speak later about your place, Earth boy."

Dib gave Zim his best glare before stomping away. His place? Who the fuck did Zim think he was? Dib shuddered, both in fear and hatred. He was tired of Zim pushing him around like he was just some plaything. A possession to be controlled however the stupid, green moron felt at any time he wanted.

The next class was Addvanced Byologie. Groaning, Dib realized that with all the excitement from yesterday and today, he'd completely forgotten about the stupid paper. As he walked into class, he found the teacher already discussing something with Zim. Zim motioned for Dib to come, and Dib ground his teeth together as he…obeyed.

Thrice fucking dammit.

Dib walked up to them. The teacher gave Dib a smile as he said, "Zim explained that you're still tired from your Koolege visit, so I'm giving both of you a week long extension for that paper." The teacher patted Dib on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're being a responsible student and focusing on what's important, Dib."

Dib nodded his head absently, only half-catching the teacher's words. He refused to look at Zim, and because of that, Zim's irritation rolled off the Irken in waves. Zim hated being ignored, and Dib knew it. Dib smiled up at his teacher. "Thank you. We'll be sure to finish it as quickly as possible." Dib gave Zim a pointed look. Zim caught the implication and clenched his fists.

The bell rang for class, so they went to their assigned seats. All throughout class, the tension in the place felt thick. None of the other students really noticed, happily taking notes or passing notes, but every second that passed was another closer to an explosive fight the likes of which the skool might've never recovered.

Finally, the ending bell broke the tension. Dib had a free period for last class, so he decided to just go home early. Zim glared at him, watching as Dib made his way towards the school's exit. Zim slunk his way through the students, sneaking up on Dib rather well in the crowd. Just before Dib thought he was home free, Zim grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Where are you going, Dib-stink?" Zim demanded to know.

"Home, Zim, away from you." Dib turned around, slapping the Irken's green hand away. "I'm done, Zim. This projekt, this experiement, I'm done."

Zim's entire body shook from shock. "You can't be done! Zim says when it's done!" Zim ignored the class bell. All too soon, students emptied the hallways, leaving Zim and Dib alone. With no classrooms nearby, they could thankfully talk without causing much disruption.

Zim clenched his fists, only to suddenly put out his hands in a placating gesture. "Alright, Zim will admit that the first full body experiment was rushed. Next time, it will be different. We can try new methods."

"I don't want to try any methods, Zim." Dib crossed his arms. "We're shouldn't even be doing this. We're enemies! Enemies don't do stuff like this with each other."

Zim let out a small growl. "Yes, you are my enemy, flesh meat. Mine! Zim's enemy to experiment, to torture, to take. That is how it is!"

Dib smirked. "Is that so?" He shifted his eyes up, as if he was thinking about something fondly. "You know, Gretchen can be pretty nice. I bet she'll be just as good in bed-."

Zim let out a screech of rage, shocking Dib. "You dare?! No, ZIM WILL NOT ALLOW IT! You are mine!"

Zim surged forward. His claws suddenly dug into Dib's sides. Dib let out a painful cry. The human tried to kick at Zim, but the alien deftly avoided the strikes. "You will pay for such words!" Zim kept the boy in the grip of his claws. He rushed a little ways down the hall with a thrashing Dib.

Throwing open a door, Zim threw Dib into a nearby closet. Dib hit a few janitorial items before smashing into the ground. Dib sputtered out a few protests, "Zim, wait! This is skool, a public place!" The door slammed shut behind Zim. "Whatever you're thinking about doing-!"

Zim lunged at Dib in full force. Dib felt all the air in his lungs shoot out with on harsh hit to his stomach. The two went down, Zim on top growling low. Dib struggled, trying to get himself out of the compromising position.

"You will not sex up that little human wretch!" Zim clawed and tore at Dib's clothes. "You are my enemy! My experiment! ONLY ZIM'S!"

He flipped Dib onto his stomach. Two PAK limbs came out and held Dib's wrists. Zim covered Dib with his body. With a growl, he clawed through the boy's pants.

Dib heard a whimper, and realized it had come from him. A little scared, he let out a squeaky, "Zim!"

"Silence!" One of Zim's PAK limbs gave him the dilution smear. Zim had planned for more research after skool hours, but best laid plans and all that. "You taunted Zim! You should expect retaliation!"

"Zim! No!" Dib shook beneath his captor, continuing to struggle. "Please, I don't want it, Zim, I don't-!"

Zim growled again. "You forget! I don't care what you want!" Zim gripped a hand full of the boy's hair and pulled up. "You will learn, Dib, that I am ZIM! Your master! You should obey!"

"No!" Dib struggled in vain beneath Zim's hold. He scalp hurt from the grip. "Please Zim! Let me go!"

Zim felt the trembling human under his power. It was exhilarating! The boy finally put in his place, he finally in charge, taking what was rightly his as Invader Zim! Zim squirted the tube of dilution smear on the boy's naked ass. "You will have me, Dib, and you will enjoy it. Just like before."

"No, Zim, please, I can't! I can't like it!" Dib pleaded, "I can't!"

Zim paused. "What nonsense are you spouting now?"

"Zim, I have to save humanity!" Dib finally got free of the PAK limbs. He clawed at Zim's hand holding his hair. "I can't do that if I like this!"

It clicked. Zim smiled down at his nemesis. "You think you could not fight me, knowing what Zim can do to you?"

Dib twisted his body left and right, accidentally rubbing his ass against Zim's hips. Zim let out a fierce hiss at the contact. "I have to! I have to fight you!" Dib's strained voice expressed his aching heart eloquently.

Zim smirked. With one hand, he lifted Dib's hips up. The human squirmed deliciously. Zim's hand went into the tattered remains of Dib's pants. And of course, there he found a prominent erection.

Zim chuckled right beside Dib's ear. "I think it's already too late, Dib thing."

Dib let out a tiny whimper of distress. "Zim!" Dib's hands pushed against the alien's thighs. "I don't want it, I really don't."

Zim released his hold on Dib's head, letting it flop. The hand trailed its way down to the curve of Dib's ass. Using two fingers, Zim pushed inside with the dilution smear coating the intrusion. Dib squirmed and whimpered deliciously beneath him. Zim whispered into Dib's ear, "Then escape. Get free. I know you can. Go on."

Dib felt the fingers stab his prostate. He shook his head, as if to deny the sensation, but Zim merely continued to push against it in a slow paced rhythm. Dib found his body betraying him yet again, as his hips began moving in time to each hit.

"Fight me, Dib." Zim huffed into Dib's ear. "Fight Zim, and Zim will let you go."

The hands on Zim's thighs slowly stopped pushing Zim away. Steadily, Dib leaned forward as his hips rocked in time to Zim's thrusts. Finally, Dib was on his hands and knees, forehead to the floor.

Zim licked his lips, "That's right. Know what I can do to you." Gently he took his fingers out.

Both hands came to squeeze on the human's hips. Dib shook in horrible anticipation. Zim chuckled darkly behind him.

The first thrust slid inside, filling Dib. The human moaned a pure primal sound of need. Zim smirked, "I believe you want it now, Dib worm." With that, he rammed into the boy doggy-style over and over again.

Dib rocked with each slam. He would've never guessed that Zim would become so possessive, but the proof was thrusting in and out of his ass. The claws bit into his skin at his hips. Suddenly, Zim tilted Dib's hips, and hit that sweet spot.

Dib cried out, "Zim!" The pace increased, and each time Zim was pounding into that place Dib needed him to hit. "Oh please, more! More! Ah!"

Zim had to hold a hand over Dib's mouth to keep him quiet. It wouldn't do to have someone interrupt his little conquest. Zim bit into Dib's neck. Dib cried out from behind the hand silencing him. Zim knew vaguely that Dib was now very close to coming. He broke the skin, and Dib screamed behind the Irkan's hand.

Zim let out a small scream of his own. Dib's blood entered his mouth, burning his tongue. Zim vaguely knew he shouldn't like the pain as much as he did, but somehow the searing sensation only added to the pleasure he already felt fucking Dib.

Dib came with a muffled scream, while Zim merely grunted his own orgasm into the hyuman's neck. Zim felt the pulsing of his smeetmaker inside Dib, and he felt pride that he'd attained his goal. He released the Dib's neck, blood soaking his lips and teeth.

Zim spat into the human's ear, "Remember this Dib, when you try to talk to that filthy stink female."

Dib could only nod.

Zim licked at blood around his lips, savoring the last of the burn. Slowly, the alien pulled out of the human, inciting a wonderful little moan from Dib. Zim chuckled. "Miss me already, Dib?"

Dib shook his head. "It hurts."

"Oh." Zim couldn't hide his disappointment. "Right, I did that. Hold on." Zim held Dib close. "Zim will fix you." From his PAK, a limb came out, holding the old laser pointer thingy Zim used all those years ago on the playground. Dib recognized it and held still. Quite quickly, the gash on Dib's neck knitted back together. As the pain faded away, Dib sighed with relief. Zim's limb took the laser back. A different limb gave Zim a bright, fluffy towel.

Dib stared at it with suspicious eyes. Dib turned slightly to snap at Zim, "Were you planning on this?"

"Not like this, no." Zim all too gently wiped Dib's cum off Dib's hips and stomach. Dib felt a blush hit his cheeks, which he knew was ridiculous to have, but there it was anyway. Zim sighed as he finished cleaning up. "I wanted to try something else."

Dib sighed. Without thinking, he leaned back into Zim. "I guess fighting you is over."

"What? Who said anything about that?" Zim gently pushed Dib away to stand up. "I don't intend to give up conquering Earth, Dib, but if you want to stop fighting for it, by all means, let me have your planet!" The green alien pulled his pants back up over his hips. "If all it takes is a couple of good fucks to make you give up, meat bag, then I've clearly underestimated you."

Dib stared up at Zim. The alien stared down at him, grinning that same stupid grin Dib knew all too well. Dib said more to himself than Zim, "Enemies shouldn't do stuff like this with each other."

Zim smirked down at Dib as said, "You're my enemy, Dib, and I expect you to take anything I throw at you." Zim held out his hand. "Even if it means you have to like it."

Dib looked at the hand offered to him. Three slim digits in a black glove. The hand of the enemy, the hand that socked him in the face, the hand that jerked him off, the hand that tore out the central power core to Tak's ship for petty revenge, the hand that slid along his back to his ass. Dib sighed as he put his hand in Zim's. He'd figure out a way to win this battle. He'd stand up, figure out a plan-!

BAM! Dib fell back down to the floor, his legs completely giving out from under him. Dib let out a groan of pain. "You...jerk!" He glared up at Zim.

Zim's chagrined face radiated guilt. "I suppose I should go a little easier on you next time."

Dib clenched his fists. "Help me up. Get me home. Or there will be no next time!

Skool was over by the time they were done, so no one saw Zim carry Dib out of the back entrance. Zim carried Dib bridal style, which put Dib out immensely, but piggyback was absolutely out of the question with Zim's PAK in the way. Zim agreed after much complaining from the human that he would allow Dib to sleep in his own bed tonight, and alone.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Zim asked him as they walked in the twilight back to Dib's.

"Yeah, don't taunt a possessive jerk!" Dib shouted and crossed his arms. He pouted. "When did I become yours, anyway? I thought it was all an experiment?"

Zim shrugged. "You've always belonged to Zim. You've always been mine, to punch, to taunt, to destroy. Now, you're also Zim's to fuck. Not a big leap."

"Funny, I've never felt like I've belonged to anybody!" Dib huffed. "I've always been under the impression you and I were enemies."

"You were right." Zim smirked. "But even in that sense, rivals own each other by acknowledging the other's skills as equal to their own." Zim gazed down at Dib. "It just so happens my rival also likes my fuck."

"Shut up!" Dib decided it was no use trying to talk to Zim. The Irken had made up his mind at some point that Dib was his. Dib got no warning or say in the matter, much like the fights and plots and schemes. Just like all those plots and schemes, it was sure to end badly.

Dib knew he should fight, right here and now. Get far, far away from the alien and fight him from a bunker somewhere. Maybe Tanzania, or Nova Scotia, or Russia, or wherever. But his ass hurt, so neither walking nor running was a good idea at the moment.

When they got home, Zim laid Dib onto his bed. Dib couldn't help but wonder about where this thing between them was going to go. As much as he hated to admit it, Zim was right. He wasn't a victim, there was no scapegoat. He let Zim fuck him like that, and he would have to own up to it. A very small, as in itty bitty, part of Dib was kind of, sort of happy that Zim wanted to keep him all to himself. Dib remembered the healing laser and the cleaning towel. Maybe, just maybe, Dib wasn't just an experiment to him. That tiny little part of him clung to that hope.

Zim gave Dib a hard look as he stood up to his full height. "Does the Dib thing wish for something else from Zim?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "No, Zim, I don't need anything. You've done enough. Get out of my house."

Zim opened Dib's window. "Very well, but Zim demands-!"

Fed up with Zim and his so-called demands, Dib shouted, "SECURITY!"

Zim shot out of the window, shattering something on his way down.

* * *

The next day, Dib got to sleep in since it was a Saturday. He felt much better. Having reclaimed the ability to sit down without wincing, Dib proceeded to track down a certain green bastard, and no it wasn't the Grinch.

Dib decided they needed to have a talk. If Zim had claimed Dib as some sort of personal experiment and/or enemy with benefits Dib needed to set up some ground rules. For example, no waking Dib up in the middle of the night when he's still recovering from that last encounter because the walking libido feels like he needs to give Dib a reminder about THAT TIME HE WAS STILL SUFFERING FROM!

Dib had kicked Zim out of his window and put up security. Learning from when Zim shut the power off, Dib turned on his recently acquired backup generator. A pissed Zim stormed off into the night, promising revenge and other such things.

Dib paused for a moment in his speed walk. What was he doing again? Oh right! Going to set ground rules. Dib walked towards the odd house containing his nemesis and/or fuck buddy. When he reached the front door, he wasn't terribly surprised to find a wrathful Zim flinging open the door.

"What was the meaning of your attack on ZIM?! Had I not made it clear that you-?!"

Dib glared at Zim. "You made nothing clear, you jerk."

Zim's mouth dropped open. "I did so! You are Zim's!"

Dib shoved his way inside the house. "Okay you made that abundantly clear, but you didn't say how."

Sighing, Dib turned around to stare at Zim. The alien growled at him and slammed the front door shut. Zim stomped over to Dib, and pointed at his human with his index digit.

"Listen here! You are mine! I get to have you whenever I want and however I want, for I AM ZIM!" He crossed his arms, "And that's how it's going to be!"

Dib glared back at his idiot "owner." The urge to punch him grew and grew. Dib forced himself to keep the violence in check. He hadn't come here for a fight, he came here to set the record straight.

"Zim, I will not just open my legs to you whenever you fell like doing me." Dib opened his mouth to explain that humans don't heal as fast as Irkans, and that if Zim would just see reason he'd be more than happy to do it every few days.

Zim smirked. "Oh, but you have so far. And so willingly too. Just like…oh, what is it you stupid humans call-Oh yes, a slut! You're my little slut, Dib stink!"

Dib just stared at Zim in shock for a few seconds. In those few seconds, Zim gloated to himself for putting the human in his proper place.

Immediately following those seconds, Dib's well placed punch slammed into Zim's jaw. Zim, unprepared for the attack, did not dodge the sucker punch to his squiddlyspooch.

Zim tottered back, hitting the wall. Dib followed, making for a side thrust into Zim's chest. The green alien finally figured out he needed to do something other than be a punching bag. Zim rolled off to the left, and Dib thrust his huge black boot into the wall.

Zim rolled right back up. He grabbed the phasing ray he'd stolen from Dib. Setting it to a mere level 2, Zim attempted to shoot his enemy in the back. Dib tugged his boot out, and then dodge rolled to avoid the blast. He rolled back up and dove into the kitchen.

Kicking over the table, using it as a shield, Dib took off his coat and brought out his taser. The charge was set on its highest. By God, he was going to make Zim bleed before this was over!

Zim yelled out from the living room, "Okay, so maybe slut was the wrong word!" Zim hugged the walls, knowing that Dib had a weapon on himself somewhere. "I merely meant that you have never said no before."

Dib growled low. He pressed the button on his taser, letting it charge up. Sparks flew from the tongs on the weapon, lighting up Dib's face menacingly.

"Yes I have!" Dib turned around and moved up. Zim froze. He was just inside the kitchen, hugging against the entrance wall. Dib shot at him, but due to being blinded by rage, Zim not only dodged him, but also got in a hit from the phasing ray.

Dib crumpled a little, but stayed standing. Zim tossed the weapon aside, "Okay, so you've never said no and meant it." He ran at his human prey, tackling the boy to the ground. "That's all I meant!"

Dib bashed his head into Zim's. The alien yelped in pain, and his hands went up to hold his throbbing head. Dib kicked Zim off of him.

"You egotistical bastard! I meant every word!" Dib kicked the alien. Zim's ribs fractured on impact. Zim let out a hiss of pain.

Dib threw his leg back for another kick. "I hate you!" His leg went in-.

Zim grabbed the black boot aiming for his organ, and shoved up. Dib cried out as he fell. Zim allowed a satisfied smirk of triumph. Dib fell backwards, landing butt first onto tile. Dib managed to land on his back and not smack his head against the floor.

Zim took the opportunity to pounce on Dib. Dib tried to buck him off, but Zim merely brought out his PAK limbs to hold him down. Zim and Dib panted, inches away from each other's lips.

Zim grinned down at him. "Alright, I'm sorry." He got in close. "You are not my slut. You are the Dib, that is also my experiment." He widened his lips into a smile. "Try and deny that!"

Dib felt something inside him snap. With a surge of strength, he wrapped his legs around Zim's waist and rocked sideways. Zim got out a very high pitched squeal before he was forced onto his back.

Dib growled, "We'll see who's the slut, Zim." He fumbled around with Zim's pants.

Zim squirmed. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" He struggled underneath the body holding him down. "I'm the one in charge!"

"Not this time." Dib pulled the alien's pants down.

Zim batted at his hands. "I am not in the mood!" Zim's PAK legs wiggled around menacingly in the air. "Zim will fight to his last breath for-!"

Dib picked up the fallen taser. Without warning, he bashed the prongs against the PAK. Crying out in surprise, Zim flailed a bit at the electric shock zapping through him. Dib released Zim after only about ten seconds, long enough to take out the PAK's defensive measures. The PAK limbs went limp. Zim huffed in resignation. "Or you could do that."

Dib unzipped his pants. "Unless you want it to hurt, give me that stupid bottle." Dib held out his hand expectantly.

Zim growled, "You wretched beast." Zim reached back into his PAK, pulling out the tube. He threw it at Dib's head, but the human caught it before it made contact.

Dibs quickly opened the tube, coated his cock with it, and then positioned at Zim's entrance. Without any warning, he slid himself inside, immediately fucking his prey into the floor. Zim moaned. The alien threw his head backwards while arching his back. Dib didn't bother trying to let Zim get used to it. He simply thrust over and over again, eliciting wonderful mewling sounds from Zim below him.

Dib thought he heard Zim whisper, "Yes, yes, far too long." But the moan that followed the soft words derailed any questions for Dib. Dib pumped hard, mindlessly slamming his hips forward while digging his fingers into Zim's. Zim met each thrust, his hands reaching up to grab Dib's lapels. "More, Dib, give me more!"

Zim let out a loud moan when Dib went in deeper and harder. Liking the sound of that, Dib kept his hips set to hit that spot Zim liked so much. Zim cried out with each thrust now. "Yes! More! I need! Yes!" Zim switched to Irken, tumbling out more or less the same. From what Dib knew of the language, Zim was also saying quite a few naughty words between the pleas.

Dib felt the tension build inside him. God, he was coming, so close, so close! Zim suddenly screamed underneath him, and Zim's thighs clutched at his sides. Dib came, spurting his seed inside the alien. Dib slammed into Zim one last time, going in all the way. Zim let out a very loud moan. The alien squeezed his thighs tight around Dib's waist, keeping them locked together as they rode out the last of their orgasms.

Dib gasped for air as his cock slowly stopped throbbing inside Zim. Slowly, but surely, Dib came down of his euphoria. A small tinge of dread tainted his afterglow. Dib stared down at Zim, the alien he just forced to the floor and fucked like a mad man. As guilt ebbed its way forward, Dib took his hands shakily off Zim's hips, noticing tiny little dark marks left behind.

When the adrenaline high died away for Zim, he grinned up at Dib. Zim stretched out, glaring softly at Dib. "Alright, satisfied?"

Dib suddenly froze. What did he just do? Dib looked down at Zim, a little stupefied. He slid his flaccid length out. "I…" He got up stumbling to his feet. "What just happened?" Dib felt a little sick. He came over to stop Zim forcing himself onto him. Now, he just did the very thing he loathed to Zim. How could he do that?

Zim smirked as he stood up. "You took me, just like I took you." Zim pulled his pants back on, still smirking. "It made you feel better. That's all." Zim patted Dib on the shoulder. "Good job."

Dib fumbled zipping up his pants. "But that's, I, no, that's not right." Dib shook his head. "I'm so confused. Why did I do that?" Dib never thought of himself as someone even near capable of forcing himself on anyone. Nice guys don't rape, and Dib really thought he was a nice guy. "I didn't want to hurt you, Zim, I just wanted to talk." Dib shook his head. "How did I end up doing this?"

"You wanted to be in control." Zim got up. He attempted putting his limbs away. They all retreated into his PAK. Satisfied his PAK was in working order again, Zim turned to Dib. "Just like how I wanted with you." Zim seemed to think about it. "Hmmm, I think I understand your position better, now that I've been there." Zim sighed. "I suppose I'll have to be a little more reasonable about this deal."

Dib just stood there. "Wait, what? No! You should hate me!" Dib flung his arms around wildly. "I did something awful to you!" Dib felt his chest getting a little tight.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Awful? Dib monkey, I didn't say no." Zim tilted Dib's head up. "Did you hear Zim crying in pain? Did I sound like I wasn't enjoying myself?"

"Well, no, but..." Dib looked down as if ashamed. He whispered, "But I enjoyed forcing you. I liked holding you down, making you mine."

Zim gave Dib a wicked smirk. "Then I suppose you and I aren't all that different, Dib. Now you know why I enjoyed taking you. In your own way, you've got a bit of Invader in you." Zim got in close. "And I like it."

Dib stared at Zim in shock. "Wait. We both like to dominate each other? I like it when you dominate me. I like to dominate?" Dib looked down at himself. "Am...Am I a sadomasochist?" Dib thought back to his first dream, with Zim, and the spanking. Always feeling aroused around Zim, getting punched by Zim, getting forced into sex by Zim, hitting Zim, forcing Zim into sex-!

Dib finally articulated his thoughts with an eloquent, "Holy shit."

Zim gave Dib a deadpanned look. "I think you shouldn't be on top anymore. It rattles your brain."


End file.
